Trans-Religious and TheoTechnocratic Future

Embracing Trans-Religious Identity

On March 24th, 2024, I declared it as my Trans-Religious Day, marking a significant shift in my life towards embracing a more religious lifestyle while distancing myself from the superficiality of sham avant-garde culture. This decision, though controversial to many, stemmed from my desire to reconcile conflicting social pressures and to authentically express my inner convictions.

As a centrist navigating the polarising debates surrounding events like Transgender Visibility Day and Easter Day coinciding on the same date, I felt the weight of opposing expectations from both sides. In response, I devised a unique approach to uphold the dignity of all identities while challenging the self-righteous hypocrisy prevalent in contemporary discourse. Thus, I boldly proclaimed myself as a Trans-Religious individual—a declaration of my inner struggle to align my spiritual beliefs with social norms.

Hence, as a cisgender male whose outward appearance does not conform to traditional masculine norms and who has embraced a hedonistic lifestyle in the past, I boldly identify as a Trans-religious individual. I intimately understand the struggle of feeling disconnected from one’s inner essence while outwardly conforming to social expectations. Deep within, I harbor a profound religious conviction, longing for divine blessings to harmonize my internal spirituality with my external presentation. My aspiration is to lead a balanced life where the radiance of my inner self eclipses any incongruities in my outward appearance, guided by the grace of God.

My Spiritual Journey

The past year has been a transformative journey of self-discovery and growth. While I have encountered significant temptations along the way, I have also gained clarity on the stark contrast between a truly spiritual lifestyle and the shallow indulgence of sham avant-garde culture, rife with multi-jingoism and multi-tokenism.

On Christmas Eve of 2024, I took a monumental step towards embracing a more religious and less hedonistic existence by documenting my experiences with the NoFap challenge.Please read my article about “NoFap Experiment” Now, in this Easter of 2024, I stand ready to fully commit to a religious way of life, unwavering in my dedication to my values and beliefs.

Central to my journey is the preservation of my aestheticism—a celebration of beauty in all its forms, uninhibited by social expectations. While remaining open-minded to alternative perspectives, I refuse to allow sham avant-garde ideologies to dictate my aesthetic sensibilities or inhibit my self-expression.

The TheoTechnocratic Future

Contemplating the TheoTechnocratic future, I am confronted with questions about the role of secularism in society. Does it liberate individuals from the dogmatism of traditional religious institutions, or does it propagate a new form of multi-jingoism, substituting one false interpretation of God for another social bureaucracy? As I continue to explore these complexities, I recognise the importance of empirical evidence and thoughtful analysis over the allure of post-modernists’ ideologies and fleeting trends.

True Pluralistic World

As I delve deeper into the intersections of spirituality, culture, and identity, I am continually reminded of the paramount significance of authenticity across all facets of existence. Staying steadfast in my beliefs and convictions, I passionately urge others to embark on their own distinct paths of self-discovery and fulfillment, steering clear of the pitfalls of succumbing to multi-jingoists and becoming mere tokens in their multi-tokenism. In a world frequently marred by superficiality and uniformity, I ardently maintain that embracing one’s genuine self stands as the ultimate act of defiance and emancipation from social constraints.

Conclusion

I am committed to further refining my ideology and upholding my core values without hastily passing judgment on others. In staying true to my aesthetic sensibilities, I refuse to be ashamed of what I find beautiful. While remaining open-minded to perspectives beyond my aesthetic realm, I stand firm in my convictions and prepared to defend myself against any attempts by sham avant-gardes to impose their standards and stifle my creative expression.

In conclusion, my journey towards embracing a trans-religious identity is one of authenticity, self-discovery, and unwavering commitment to my values. As I navigate the complexities of contemporary society, I remain steadfast in my pursuit of spiritual fulfillments and intellectual honesty, trusting in the power of time and data to guide me towards greater understanding of what is suitable for me!

Ongoing Data

Fear

Consequences of lusts:

bad Relationship

hospitalisation

homelessness

poor eyesight

fatigue

08/29/2015~12/22/2015 empty stomach,low motivation,bad luck

05/28/2016 bad grades, tooth problems, Money issue

10/2016 plans delayed, over slept, missing classes, guilt, lack of energy

11/5~11/8 2016 missing schools, tooth pain, sickness, low achievement

2016~2021 credit card issues more than 3 times

03~07 2020 stock loses, unemployment, sleeping disorder

02/2021 YouTube issue

03/2021 bad grades, attendances

2019 water pipe leaking 06/2020 liability bill 06/2021 liability bill

06/2021 unemployment letter job refusal responses

06/14/2021 liability bill negotiation

07/14~08/14 doubts, water bill settlements, money issue

08/14~08/21 low motivations, sleeping disorder, unproductive, full moon hurricane

08/26~08/28 felt exhausted, scam shipping text, missing dental appointment, delusional passengers on the train, music major delays, changing courses, sleeping disorder, stay overnight, woke up at 5:30 pm, overspending on food

09/01 missing classes, slept until 4 pm, sedation surgery insurance denied

09/02~09/03 missing classes, woke up at 10 pm, depression, back pain, fainted, bad eyesight, TV drama addictions, wasted money on food, overslept

09/04~09/11 burned by lusts

11/19~ 11/27 uncertainty, restlessness, tiresome, depressions, sorrows, drinking,

overslept, low productivity

01/01/2022~10/28/2022 Benefits from less hedonistic lifestyle, get in music program, more productive in art and music; whereas tiredness, doubts, depressions, setbacks, financial disruptions whenever hedonistic thoughts arise

(Hedonistic past, restrained hedonistic lifestyle from 2015~2020)

(New plan, hedonistic once every 2 weeks since 2020)

(Full celibacy scheduled from 12/18/2021 but failed)

(Renewal of new celibacy plan from 10/29/2022)

(Uncertainty of home fixing, business credit card, SSA issue, tooth, 11/05/2022)

11/19/2022 doubts, unproductive, procrastination, depression, but under control

11/26/2022 ~ 11/27/2022 unproductive, low motivation, depression

12/03/2022 unproductive, sleeping disorder, bad online social engagements waste money on food, low motivation

12/07/2022~12/10/2022 unproductive, window issues, smoke detectors issues, potential lawsuit

12/15/2022~12/18/2022 rainy, delayed fixing, heater problem, window fixing debate, benefit deduction, overslept, lack of reviewing for final exam

12/22~12/24/2022 delayed dental surgery, window issue, liability issue, heater issue

01/04~01/07/2023 financial aid, window issues, drinking, wasteful on food, exhaustion, window bills, anxiety, depressions

01/20~01/23/2023 overspending on food, window issues, financial aid issues

01/25~01/28/2023 overspending on food, oversleeping, anxiety, financial issues

02/04~02/11/2023 exhaustion, financial crisis, oversleeping, music listing issues, fatigue, pain around eyes, unproductive, credit card bills, financial aid, heat censor issue, sleeping disorder

02/18/2023 tooth issues, fatigue, oversleeping, overspending on food, lack of motivations, unproductive, jury serving conflict, window issues

02/25/2023 unstable, oversleeping, on the edge of addiction, uncertainty, overspending on food, unproductive

03/04/2023 dropping class, life crisis, low motivation, depressions, financial issues, overspending on food, oversleeping, room spinning, poor vision, most corrupted week of the year, web breaks, unproductive, failed window negotiations, doing bad on quiz

03/11/2023 low motivation, overspending on food, overeating, addicted to a game, spent 300$ on game then quit again twice during the weekends, bad relationship with housing board, window problem unsolved, ad manager disapproved, fatigue

03/18/2023 sleeping paralysis, financial problems, window issues, overspending on food, hookup temptation, low achievement

03/25/2023 sleeping disorder, overspending on game, financial issues, window issues, low motivation, extreme thoughts

04/01/2023 bad financial crisis, addicted to game, low achievement, potential lawsuit fees against HOA, sleeping disorder, pain around the eyes, fatigue, sleep during the day

04/08/2023 fatigue, window issue unsolved, financial issue, feeling sick, low motivation, bad eyesight, oversleeping, skin rash, sad dreams, eye pains

04/22/2023 oversleeping, nightmares, financial crisis, overspending on food, gaming addiction, dark fantasies, delusional

04/29/2023 impure video addiction, fatigue, poor eyesight, overspending on food, overspending on game, meeting rude people on the train may due to bad karma, unproductive, serious financial crisis, missing classes, sleeping disorder, tooth problems, credit cards over thousands, window leak issues still unsolved, all project delayed, erased game again to overcome gaming addiction, overspending on another game, repeated spending erasing games, got fraud withhold from iTunes store, ceiling damage from the rains

05/06/2023 credit card bills, plan postponed, gaming addiction, good fortune delayed, sleeping disorder, unproductive, drinking problem, fatigue, wasting money on food, wasting money on games, back pain, sleep paralysis, oversleeping

05/13/2023 financial issues, sleeping disorder, headache, fatigue, project delayed, fear, lack of motivations, didn’t finish assignments

05/20/2023 financial issues, food shortage, overspending on food, poor health, got denied by all programs, low motivations, pain around eyes, fatigue

05/27/2023 overspending on food, break food plan, high credit card bills, metro card broken, music distribution delayed, project delayed, piano audition postponed, low motivation, unproductive, oversleeping, additional assignment,

hard to breath, anxiety, eating bad food, being wasteful, fatigue, headache, poor eyesight

06/03/2023 Financial aid trouble, high bills, jury duty, fatigue, sleeping disorder, depressive dreams, headache, pain around the eyes, met ugly paranoid feminist on the train, metro card demagnetised again, overspending on food, overspending on game, impure video addiction, unstable thoughts, regret and repentance, fear of setbacks, unproductive

06/10/2023 Bursa collection, financial troubles, fatigue, low moral fantasies, unstable, oversleeping, headache, overspending on food, overspending on game, music upload failed

06/17/2023 Music delay, sleep until 4pm, sleeping disorder, fatigue, pain around the eyes, ate bad food, metro card problem, low motivation, got wrong food, overspending on food, wrong bus station, bad socialisations, nearly wasted a whole month doing nothing

06/24/2023 sleeping disorder, bill issue, high credit card bills, fatigue, prostrate pain, low motivation, low achievement

07/01/2023 wrong assignment bill, high credit card bill, tuition debts, anxiety, sleeping disorder

07/08/2023 wrong bill, financial aid issue, unstable, wasting money on food, anxiety, debts

07/15/2023 sleeping disorder watching Harry Potter, wasted whole month doing nothing, wasting money on food, debts, social anxiety, fatigue, wasting too much time on politics, wasting money on gaming, insurance filling delay, oversleeping

07/16~09/02/2023 stable but edging a lot, cannot concentrate when horny, flirting a lot, watching too much impure videos, sleeping disorder, financial issue, eating disorder

09/09/2023 unproductive, financial crisis, sleeping disorder

09/16/2023 fatigue, sleeping disorder, missing school, huge student loans, financial issues, overspending on food, depression, oversleeping

09/23/2023 fatigue, oversleeping, unproductive, lack of energy, poor eyesight, tooth issues, flavourless

10/07/2023 oversleeping, eye pain, fatigue, headache, low achievement, uncertainty, piano class issue, exhaustion, eyesight problem, pain around eyes, depressions, music stream issue, fear, breath problem

10/14/2023 slept till 6 pm, fatigue, guilt, unproductive, uncertainty

11/04/2023 bad grades, tooth pains, depression, water issues, financial crisis, social interaction issues

11/11/2023 sleeping disorder, eye pains, fatigue, overspending on food, bad relationship with professor, anxiety, anger, making bad plans, communication problems, missing class, delayed on quiz

11/25~11/27/2023 metro card demagnetised, financial issue, insurance issue, depression, anger, uncertainty, bad relation with professor, sleeping issue, tooth issue, fear, paranoia

12/02/2023 procrastinating, bad grades, bad planing, eye fatigue, sleeping disorder, overspending on food, financial crisis, project delays

12/09/2023 metro card demagnetised twice, financial crisis, sleeping disorder, eye pain, headache, instability, plan delayed, toothache, no heat, sleeping during the day, depression, slept till 4 pm

12/23/2023 overspending on food, insurance denied, financial crisis, sleeping the whole day, music issues, unproductive, procrastination, fear, anxiety, depressions, eye pain, headaches, uncertainty

12/30/2023 financial crisis, sleeping disorder, hedonistic, mood issues, unproductive, anxiety, music issues, impure addiction, lack of motivation, almost addicted to games

01/06/2024 argument with mom online, sleeping disorder, impure video addiction, overspending on food, financial crisis, unproductive, tooth issues, window bills, anxiety

01/12/2024 sleeping disorder, financial crisis, Visa crisis for mom, overspending on food, frustrations, impure video addictions, tooth issues, anxiety

01/20/2024 fatigue, overspending on food, oversleeping, tooth issues, financial issues

01/27/2024 oversleeping, overspending on food, financial crisis, unproductive, depression, argument with mom online, tooth issues, lack of motivations, sleeping disorders, anxiety, music issues, website issues

02/24/2024 sleeping disorder, unproductive, eyesight issues, coughing and sickness, financial issues, missing classes, missing assignments, cold sores, upper gum pain

03/02/2024 sleeping disorder, sickness, tooth pain, missing assignments, projects delay, eye pain, lost appetite, fatigue, coughing, financial issues, mom health issues, family issues, college direction, spent on gaming, homework delayed, new HOA assignments

03/16/2024 Homework delayed, project delayed, lack of motivation, financial problems, window issues, conflicts in school, failed midterm exam, coughing, music delay, food shortage

03/23/2024 overspending on food, toothache, tongue sore, sleeping disorder, doing bad on all midterms, missing homework, music delayed, missing project, anxiety, eyesight problems, fatigue, lack of motivation, confrontational and raising thoughts, window issue, extra housing bills, tongue pain, difficult eating

Sinful days: 02/19/2020 02/21/2020 08/01/2020 09/04/2020

10/01/2020 10/18/2020 11/10/2020 11/28/2020 12/28/2020 01/14/2021 02/02/2021 02/03/2021 02/05/2021 04/05/2021 04/16/2021 04/21/2021 04/23/2021 04/26/2021 05/30/2021 06/01/2021 06/06/2021 06/14/2021

06/19/2021 07/07/2021 07/14/2021 08/14/2021 08/21/2021 08/28/2021 09/04/2021 09/11/2021 11/19/2021 11/24/2021 11/25/2021 11/26/2021 11/27/2021 12/11/2021 12/18/2021 01/01/2022 01/08/2022 … many…